We spent nearly 6 yrs tgt. Maybe this blog is also as old. I remember the first post. We or rather you want to make it a evangelics blog after reading the Left Over books. We talked abt God. The first post by you is crappy. And Im goin to make the Last post more substantial. Hopefully the next time i read it i wont cry, but i will laugh at my own 20yrs old childishness.
Our first yr is perfect. No fights no cold wars. Everything is sweet and whoo so puppy love. althou sometime abit drama and pretentious.
Second yr was our o level. we still hardly fight sometime only about church stuff. we are still in love like mad. We worked hard in order to get into the same sch.
Third yr is our first JC yr. i remember im veri afraid that you will fall in love with other girl. Seemed like my trust for you is mediocre. But it's not your fault, im just being too paranoid.
Fourth yr, is a horrible yr. I became fat and there A level.
Fifth yr, first year of ur army. Well, i didnt ran away with other guys. Jus that i wanted to play harder. And omg seemed like feeling start to wear off. There's sickening cold wars after fight.
And the last yr. We couldnt make it thru.
I thou we would be life partner. I didnt expect us to end here. I didnt expect our separation is like that. i thou separation will only come by when either one of us suddenly die. I didnt know i could bear to let you go.
Indeed, i could not let go lightly. I thou i am strong, but i realise im not. I will still cry literally every night for the past 18 days. watever i do, im still crying. in class, in toilet, on msn. I dun know why i feel so pain, even my hand and leg can literally feel the surge of pain. I know this time is different from the previous time. I used the word part. and i mean it. I know you wont ask me back cos of ur pride or maybe u are jus happy that u are set free now. i know i wont run back to you again either. not because im really pissed with you, but i know we just could not talk properly anymore. even my mother advise mi not to waste our time anymore. MAybe we would patch back for a few months and we start fighting all over again. it's gonna be a cycle. so why not let me put a stop to it. tt's the last thing i could do to make you happier. so this time we are really goin to part our way. our way will nv cross again.
keep ur fren close and keep ur enemies in graves. i hope im your enemy now. love to hatred is much easier. and i think it will tend to overcome breakup easier. everyday is abt living better without me. but i couldnt do it. im haunt by my good memories, knowing that im goin to lose all the happiness forever. as ur enemy, all you could remember is all the fucked up thing i did and i think it can be let go more easily?
anyway, im jus veri veri veri veri sad. sad sad and sad. wanying told mi it's been 4 mths since she broke up and she still feel like hell. i hope i wont be like her.
watever is it. i still love you now daddy. baby is crying but you will nv ever hear. jus go on with ur life. and i will move on when i could.
